Someone said recently "Robyn and John seem happy" and we are, we are very much fundamentally happy. Or more true to life, I am a happy person, John rides my coattails of happiness to find his own balance. However that doesn't mean we don't argue occasionally, which brings me to a sort of ongoing debate. You see, I am a stay at home mother. When I had my second daughter we decided (or rather our finances decided) that we could not afford the daycare prices for us to be gone for 11-12hrs a day anymore and me being the lower wage earner the result is obvious. As a stay at home mother I do what all of you think I do, sit around eating bonbons.......plus I do everything else, child care, laundry, lawn care, dinner, ect. ect, you get the idea. However, I do sometimes have more fun going on than actual work, parks, art, zoos and sometimes when that is the case the stress of life causes him to ask, "why don't I do things like I used to?". I just put it off to him being stressed and needing a break (and feeling like being a little bit of an asshole, like we all do, just admit it). But I realized I've never really understood when "used to" was? When is this time when I had all my shit together? When I quit my job I had about a month with just one child hanging out, then I had a baby and a 3 1/2 yr old, then I had about the fastest 10 months of baby time ever and then I had cancer, then I had about the worst year I've ever had followed by the second worst year ever. Which brings me to the present, this year, in which I am healthy, my children fairly independent and me feeling like I've finally learned to be my new self. My new self seems really lazy around the house, my new self is focused on exercising, having a shit ton of fun with her children, her family and friends. I've decided I like my new self, she seems so much better than my old self. My new self still manages to clean and do laundry but sometimes she says "fuck it" because sometimes people are more important than things.
**Disclaimer: John and I were not arguing about this today, that is not what prompted me to write this. What prompted me was a basket of laundry I was carrying and a little girl that said "mama will you sit with me?"
Also coming soon!! A post about homemade lotion that keeps scars from itching like a son of a bitch. If you have scars you know what I mean.